At the beginning of the year God told me I needed to let go of the “how” and my own plans. His plans were better for me. Now, that is hard for me. I’ve always been a “how” kind of girl and a true planner. I plan things like vacation months in advance. The actual planning is part of the fun for me. But. (One small little word that changes the direction of things.) But, I want God’s plans for my life. I know his plans are so much better. All of this got me thinking. How many times do we miss out because we plan everything instead of letting the spirit lead us? How often do we let our own thoughts and anxieties take over the very thoughts that God gave us. How many times do we try and take His call on our lives into our own hands. He has laid out our steps. We just need to follow. Day by day.
Learning to take things day by day, and step by step is really hard for me. I imagine it is hard for most of us. If you are like me, I have often tried to negotiate with God for a 5 year plan. However I have come to realize that sometimes if he actually gave it to us, we would not be able to either handle it or believe him. Most often God’s plans are so big, we may not be able to wrap our brains around what he has for us in the next five years. When I was newly married at 21, I think I would have freaked out a little bit if God would have told me I was going to have 3 kids in the next five years and countless trials and tribulations. When I was 30, if God had told me I would have another child and start two businesses I think I would have been intimidated. If he would have let me know that a few years later I would start a career in Real estate, I would have tried to figure it all out on my own. So many times we ask for something and we don’t have any idea what it would be like if God actually answered in that moment.
This brings me full circle to today. In 2007, God placed a love in my heart for Hatteras Island. At the time I prayed and asked God for an answer for why I felt so connected to that area. He didn’t answer. I sat in a cafe, on the Pamlico Sound, with tears in my eyes and didn’t understand why he wouldn’t just tell me. Today I understand. As I sit in the same cafe 7 years later I understand. It was too big to show me then. The seeds needed to grow roots. And even though I still don’t have the complete picture, I understand. It had to be God’s timing. I needed to wait and to be led by the spirit.
I’m still learning, but I am giving it my all. Laying down my own plans and my own strategies for his. I am trusting that he has the answers. I’m letting him lead me week by week, day by day, or even as a good friend of mine recently said half hour by half hour. That’s all I can do. The rest is up to him and there is such peace in that. His plans are better and I am excited now about letting go of the how and my own plans.